So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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