Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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