And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
