just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
There r osticjed everywhere
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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