woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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