she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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