Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
