I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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