jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
