I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
