I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
