I don't usually arrange sex via text message
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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