You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
we should paint friendship bongs
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