she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
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I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
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"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize