i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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