got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
