Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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