And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I think people are normalizing furries
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
