Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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