so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
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Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
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Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?