Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.

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(914): View more from New York

My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(949): View more from California

Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.

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(804): View more from Virginia

He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.

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(515): View more from Iowa

After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm

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(512): View more from Texas

He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.

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