hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
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His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
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Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.