Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
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You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me