You're my little dorito
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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