So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
