i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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