escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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