you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize