whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
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