There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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