is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
