hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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