I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
