That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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