i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
