Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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