sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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