I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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