Can Purell be used as lube?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
