Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
