Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
