Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we're making bets on your personal life
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
