gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My vagina is officially offended.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize