i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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