It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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