forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
