Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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