I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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