If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
