Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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