I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
