cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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