Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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