that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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