JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
