He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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