i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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