I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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