butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
