Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
