just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
