Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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