the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
