next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
