So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
