I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
