3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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