I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We just shotgunned beers for America
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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