sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
