so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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