and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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