OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
